George Clooney is engaged?
What is happening right now, world?!

(celebrity gossip and a picture of Emerson - yup. just about sums me up right now.)

A 180 ... Or Maybe a 90.

Caught a smile..kind of.

This past Saturday marked 6 weeks for the little one. Yay!

I was highly anticipating the date since every baby book, pediatrician, and baby blog use 6 weeks as the marker for change. What change you ask? I can't describe it - but a definite change. I woke up Saturday and resolutely told Josh that today was the day I was going to experience a 180 in this parenting thing.

He asked me to temper my hope. :p

And while I can't say we've had a 180 I can say that I'm seeing small improvements in our quality of life. For example, Sunday night I cleaned the bathroom for the first time in 6 weeks. (I know, that is so gross!) But I just couldn't find it in me to do it. And that's coming from someone who doesn't even let her parents come over without picking up the house.

Last week it all came to a head and by Thursday my body shut down. My mom came over to check on me in the morning and I was feeling so sick she ended up canceling the rest of her day and staying with the baby. I slept for 6 hours - with a vague recollection of a feeding or two in there - and then felt better. I haven't slept six hours since the days of the second trimester. After that Josh and I decided to change our schedule a bit to something more manageable. A little less pumping and a bit more of a relaxed schedule. Because of that  Josh and I made it out of the house this past weekend to a simple picnic in the park. And really, that little outing did wonders for my countenance.

So maybe it hasn't been a complete 180 - but certainly at least a 90 degree turn. Point is, I am feeling a bit more like me again. Phew!

Happy Monday friends. Hope you've had a 180, or at least a 90, if you needed it too.

I Do, Me Too

If I were to get married again, I'd throw this addition on to our beautiful wedding cake (which was made with love by my sister in law btw).

You can even customize. 

Be still my heart.

Have a sweet tooth Tuesday folks.

Don't worry, we are still alive.

Last week was, well last week, so let's leave it back there. :p This past weekend was full. Josh's brother, Luke graduated on Saturday, my Grandma turned 90, and Easter was on Sunday. We didn't make it to everything but we sure tried our darndest to hit at least one or two family things. Emerson met a host of new people and did pretty well the whole weekend.

I'll let the pictures do the talking...not because I'm too cool for school but because I'm too tired to write about it. :p

We didn't make it to church but Sunday morning Josh read the Easter story to us from a baby's bible and I had my own moment while pumping in the wee hours, singing along and praising the Lord with this song. I hope you had a wonderful Easter too!

744 hours

Today Emerson is one month old. Yay!

Yesterday while on an early evening walk, Josh said he felt the time has gone by so fast. He asked me if I felt the same. I looked at him like he was crazy and resolutely responded no. It has seemed every bit the 744 hours it has been. (What kind of mother says stuff like that?!)

But I know it will get better and I look forward to those days. Besides, I've got my eyebrows drawn in, my eyeliner on, and my hair straightened today so that tells you something. :p

Tummy time with both grandma's on the same day. Lucky duck.

P.S. Out of all the Coachella celebrity looks, I thought Julienne Hough nailed it. Wouldn't you say?

The Breastfeeding Saga

Our fascination with breasts continues...

Last week was tough, hence the lack of posts. Sorry about that. Feeding the Lady has been demanding and at the same time unfulfilling for her. I could go into too much detail but suffice to say she was on the boob for 1 1/2 hours each feeding, then I'd pump, we'd syringe that into her, then she'd take a a little break, and then we'd need to do it over again. I didn't know if I was producing enough for her, if she was just a slow sucker, if she needed formula, etc. All we did know was we were continuing to struggle getting her back to birth weight. Well meaning friends all offered different opinions but this left Josh and I confused about what the problem was and therefore the solution.

It is anxiety inducing thinking you are not providing your child with the needed nutrients.

My mom suggested we go and see a lactation consultant again. The appointment was incredibly helpful. We learned a new hold, changed one of her latches, found a new nipple cream, figured out her weight before, during, and after a feeding, learned how much she was getting with each feeding and how much she needs. We also found a great pacifier that she actually took to immediately, another way to soothe her, and so much more.

The good news: we know what the problem is! Basically, she's a lazy eater. Because she's lackadaisical about it she's not stimulating me enough to increase production. But we're not far off from where we need to be (yay!) AND it's not too late to get my production up (yay again!).

The bad news: the schedule we are now on is quite rigorous. I breastfeed every three hours for thirty minutes only. This includes switch feeding and actively trying to ensure she doesn't rest while eating. After that I pump for fifteen minutes and then feed what I get back to her. We supplement to hit a certain amount of ml's. We do this round the clock.

We've already seen some progress on her end - she finally hit birth weight! And while I celebrate that milestone over here, I hope you are celebrating something equally important to you over there.

Happy Monday peeps.

Friday Favorites

Cole tried out a big boy bed at my mom's and absolutely loved it. In fact, he didn't want to get out of it after he woke up. Can't help but appreciate how adaptable he is to new things.

Have a wonderful weekend!

No Really, We CAN Do It.

Waiting room at the pediatricians

Yesterday didn't got quite as planned. I've learned the Lady likes to do what she wants, when she wants and we just have to go with the flow. When she woke up I noticed there was some blood in her spit up. As the morning continued, so did the blood so I began to track it. By 11am she was spitting up blood every time she would throw up (which is a lot at the moment). So I texted Josh and he asked I call the doctor's office to be on the safe side. I was expecting the nurse to tell me that it was common and to call back in 24 hours should it continue but she asked that we come in to see a doctor instead. WHAT. A mild alarm went off in my head but I remained calm.

I haven't driven since the c-section and although I probably could I was slightly concerned about carrying the car seat and getting it in and out of the car. Thankfully my Mil came to the rescue and took Emerson and I to the pediatricians.

The doctor poked and prodded. She's fine. No blood in her stool, seems healthy, responds correctly. Yay! Doc said it was probably blood from my poor nipples that she is digesting and regurgitating. Sounds gross and well, it is, but I'm thankful she is okay. So was my husband who WOULD have to worry about this his first day back at work. Ironic, no? Oh Lady...

So this brings me to why it's 3:21am and I'm up pumping and talking with you. One positive of going to the doctors today was having a weight check. She's a bit behind since our last appointment so it's back to the nighttime routine for me.

When she hits birth weight I will order a whole Susie Cakes Famous Southern Red Velvet to myself! Okay, probably not. :p Even though it was an eventful day, I will say the upside was realizing that I can do this - even with the curveball.

Have a fancy Tuesday!

"We Can Do It"

I'm a little bipolar today.

Josh went back to work this morning. We had three blissful weeks of dual parenting. He was all hands on deck for every aspect except the actual boob action and it was still not the easiest three weeks. I don't know how single parents do it. But mom's do it all the time so I can't be the exception to the rule, right?

Needless to say, one minute I'm channeling Geraldine Doyle's, "We Can Do It" and the next I'm on the verge of hyperventilating. It's only 8am and I've already had epic moments of pure warriorism with the little lady - tackling some massive throw-ups in conjunction with major blowouts. So, arm flexed there. But can I really hold up under this sort of pressure all day? I will let you know tomorrow.

I really hope Emerson has her dad's personality - slow and steady girl! slow and steady!

x, J

Friday Favorites

Aimee posted today's Friday Favorite on Instagram but it's worth the repost because, well, if you haven't already seen it, then now you'll know why.

Babycakes wanted Noelle to join them during reading time. That expression and that pudgy hand get me every time.

/ / Web Favs / / 

Must get here.

Must try these.

Must hit all 15.

Must stay in one. 

And a must collaboration.

The Difference A Day Makes

I never knew the sound of "7 pounds" would bring tears to our eyes. But that it did.

When we were undressing her before putting her on the scale we noticed she had pooped. I was bummed because although that's normally a good sign, I was worried we'd just lost a precious ounce or two. But the little lady pulled through at a whopping 7.05 pounds! Woohoo! We are almost back to birth weight!

Tonight we will sleep a little easier.

And tomorrow we will continue the routine.

But the difference between yesterday and today is today we feel like we can conquer the world. But really it's Emerson who conquered her first battle. We're so proud. :)

26.2 Miles and Counting

We have a big weight appointment for the little lady tomorrow.

She's been having a hard time gaining weight and actually lost too much weight so we have been working feverishly to get her back up to speed.

It has been completely exhausting since she needs to breastfeed every two hours, then I need to pump, then we need to syringe that extra milk into her mouth. By the time that whole process is done it's basically time to start again. For the first two weeks we did this 24-7. This week we were allowed to drop the pumping at night. Praise God! We are praying our efforts will be rewarded in ounces gained tomorrow.

It's amazing what lengths you will go to for your children. Even now our own parents have gone to extreme lengths to help us, their grown children, during this time. Josh's mom has spent nights with us - giving me some precious sleep time. Both sides have been bringing us meals, doing our laundry, and cleaning our dishes. Their patience and willingness to help has been invaluable.

Someone cautioned us this week that this parenting gig, fraught with worry and concern already, is a marathon, not a sprint, so pace ourselves. I can see the wisdom in this. If we continue at this pace, we'll both be completely gray and die early! But still, it is easy to worry about something you care so much about.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:19

I'm off to dreamland folks. My MIL is here taking care of Emerson. It's 11:25pm and I'm just about done pumping. If I hurry I can get in a few hours of sleep before it's time to start the routine again.

It's a marathon...it's a marathon..

Our Original Birth Plan

One of my fears regarding the whole birthing process was how I would handle the recovery from a c-section. And one of the reasons Josh and I opted for the surgery was because of concerns over whether my back would hold up under labor. Surprisingly I didn't experience any back pain during the pregnancy so for a split second we toyed with the idea of having a vaginal birth but after talking it through we settled on our original intention.

I've read that some women feel real jipped when they get cheated out of a vaginal birth. Something about the emotional and spiritual nature of pushing a child out of your own body that brings a complete sense of oneness with your own self and with the baby.

I am not one of those woman. Cut me up and bring her out, I say! 

But anyway, the recovery wasn't as awful as everyone told me it was. Maybe it was the combination of the spinal tap and ample doses of percocet, or maybe it was that I had built it up into something unmanageable in my head, but truthfully, it wasn't that bad. Yea, I was sore and it was uncomfortable but doesn't that happen to every lady who gives birth? 

Anyhow, I don't regret the decision. 

This isn't to say I would tote this path as the best way! It was just our way.

The popular thing nowadays is the Birth Plan. Have you heard of it? Basically, it's a couples manifesto on what they want and what they don't want during their delivery. Doula? Meds? Skin to Skin? Natural? Epidural? Silence? It can be an endless list.

People would ask me what my birth plan was. Josh and I would shrug our shoulders and say, whatever the doctor thinks is necessary when the time comes. A pretty anti L.A. answer I would say. :p

Emily Henderson has the best post about her birth plan. You should read it.