Today I was at the doctors office solo with the kids and Emerson pees all over the floor in the waiting room.
I pause for a second and Emerson tells me she has more pee pee. So I scoop her up in my free arm, apologize to the nurse, run with both kids to the bathroom. While holding Landon I rush to get the toilet seat cover on the toilet before the rest comes out. Finally I get that to stay and I help her finagle out of her wet clothes. I lift her on the potty and realize she's still in her sopping wet underwear. I pull her off again and take the toilet seat cover with her. Start over. I finally get her back on the seat and try to keep her from falling in without dropping Landon. SWEATING. We hold position for a minute or two before she informs me "I'm empty mommy". 😑 I take her off, clean up the mess. I have no clothes or shoes so she runs out to the waiting room NAKED and starts playing with all the toys. NAKED. Landon is crying. My girl is naked. As calmly as possible I ask a nurse to hold my son while praying that I brought an extra change of clothes. One dress. No panties. No shoes. I throw the dress on her and pick up Landon while apologizing profusely for the mess.
Mama needs a moment and Emerson is asking me to read this book so I agree. We settle on some chairs and I open the book only to realize a few pages in it's a kids book about cancer. CANCER. At this point I'm like f*** it and just keep reading about Katie Kate who swoops in to comfort and explain to a girl all about this cancer she just got diagnosed with. Meanwhile I glance around and this lady is shooting me why-are-you-reading-that-to-your-little-girl death stares. I plug on.
The finale was me holding my head high as I bought anti fungal cream in front of everybody. I swooped us out of there as if nothing abnormal had happened.
And that is the first and last time I will be taking my kids solo to the doctors office. Lesson learned.
Bring it, Tuesday.
