Somewhere in the chaos of raising tiny humans I lost my joy. One year turned into two, two years into three, and here I am five years later wondering where the joy went and where the time went too.
But it needs to be marked that 2024 was the year I began to regain my joy. At first it was pockets of it - a belly aching laugh here, a moment of sparkle there, but inch by inch, one step forward and two steps back, I hesitantly say out loud that I think it is returning to me.
Many factors helped but the main thing, friends? He has stabilized me with the essential Truth of the gospel. I had to catch up to knowing God - understanding His heart and His ways and then letting that Truth change me. He changes how we see things and how we view people. He removes the need for praise and the debilitating sting of criticism. He heals hearts. He revealed my legalistic mindset and replaced it (is still replacing it) with love and grace.
On my birthday three different people remarked how they have noticed I am a different person. There could not be a greater compliment! God’s Word has proven true once again - for He has begun to give me the fruits of the Spirit that I had little of before - gentleness, patience, peace, and joy. Julianna Joy - He is returning my name to me.
Do you remember Cain and Abel, the brothers? Cain was the oldest son, the strong one. The one who was to receive the inheritance and the blessing from his father. Abel’s name in Hebrew is Hebel, which throughout the book of Ecclesiastes means meaningless, a vapor or a mist, here for a moment and then gone. But God took that earthly identity and He crushed it when He gave Abel the blessing instead of Cain.
We are all Abel’s - and if we choose God we will receive the blessing too.
“My whole source of joy is in you!” Psalm 87:7
“The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy. Psalm 126:3
So I close out 2024 and gingerly step into 2025 with joy - who knew! I’m choosing to cherish my husband and enjoy my kids, study the word, laugh with my friends, lean in to my church community, and all the while, asking God for wild hope in this new year, and praying that with whatever comes, He will continue to swap out my garment of despair for a spirit of joy.
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