We were not immune from hard things in 2020. My dad lost his dad early in the year and my mom lost her mom to Covid in the summer. I struggled with teaching the kids from home and having Abby underfoot. Marriage was hard. The weight of why God put me in the worship leader job, at this time, I still cannot fathom. A full time job that I was only able to give a fraction of my time to, and the insecurity of my mediocre voice booming into the homes in our community.
I do not pretend to understand God's ways.
All of the tensions this year that encircled the election, the Black Lives Matter Movement, the fires, the pandemic. A world in crisis. Not one of us was left unscathed.
I do not pretend to understand God's ways.
But in that, my children were safe and healthy. Our home was a wonderful place to have to shelter in. My parents and Josh's parents were safe and our siblings and their families too. Praise God.
I saw the purest hearts at work. People willing to meet week after week, for months at a time, volunteers unpaid, serving the church community with their gifts.
Josh was able to work from home.
My mother in law, who in her quiet yet consistent way, helped us with the children so much - meals, activities, time away, games, laughter, fun. She kept their minds occupied and their hands full, and in doing so, provided Josh and I with respite.
I do not pretend to understand God's ways, nor do I think I need to know.
"Our truest joy will be found in the acceptance of what God has given and trust that He has a better plan. Just as Joseph's pit led Him to Pharaoh's court, the walk of wandering brought the Israelites to the Promised land, Sarah's insults pushed Hagar to the well, Christ's bloody death brought new life for all of creation - God's way, though often uncomfortable and upside-down, is always the better way." -paraphrased from Laura Wifler.
And because I kept my nose in the Book of Life I was "like a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in season, and whose leaf does not wither." (Psalm 1)
Thank you, Jesus. Great is your faithfulness! Great is your Name!
