Average-ness & the Awareness of God

Truth is, I've always struggled with mediocrity. It has plagued me my whole life. Mediocre in school, looks, talent, effort, etc. 

The average-ness is astounding really. I’m a so-so cook and only so-so at exercise. I’m sometimes good at parenting and sometimes good at being a wife. I’ve tested average intelligence. I’m decent at games. I’m somewhat athletic. Always *this* close.

Looking back, I somehow even used my average-ness to think I was superior to others. Certainly nothing I would have admitted out loud but glaringly obvious in hindsight. 

I’m not telling you all this to be self deprecating. Here’s the truth of it - I’m coming to realize that all of my average was a true gift from God, for surely, if I had actually been great at any one thing, I would have no need to bend the knee to God - or even needing a Savior for I would have been my own Savior. In keeping me from being great, He saved me from building a life around my own self. 

See the parable of the talents!

Instead I find myself aware of my brokenness and failings and also all the more in awe of God’s astounding love and grace to stay with me, love me, and use me. 

I learned in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), that in the end, God, not any human being, is the hero of the Bible, and the hero in our own stories. (2 Chronicles 20:35-37) Not us. Thank you, Lord! 

So what are we to do with the realization of such average-ness and weakness? 

“Our weakness is not news to God. He understands the limitations of the mortals He’s formed from dust. We, however, struggle to shed our illusion of superpowers. Will you trust that God has made you weak in all the right places to shine His glory through the cracks in your clay pot? What is God revealing as He tenderly teaches you to trust Him? How is God purposefully exposing your weakness to draw you to Himself?” Kingdom Divided study, BSF

Geez. YES!

I was talking with my co-worship leader the other day. Someone whom God has given many talents. We were talking about his talents and, just as in the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14)  the importance of not squandering the gifts given to Him by God - to be used for his good and God's glory. God knew I needed less talents so that I would not squander them with self righteousness. My friend was entrusted with more talents - will he use them for purpose for what they were given? 

Are you using your talents for the purpose for what they were given? 

Merriment & Memories

It was our third year hosting Thanksgiving and we had so much fun. Somehow we squeezed 25 people into our little house and spent the night decorating cookies, sharing, eating yummy food, passing around homemade desserts, playing charades with the adults, and watching movies on the deck with the kids. We ended the night with s'mores. Much merriment and memories. 

Emily and Noah

 It is with joy, and great love, that we welcome Emily into the family. 

Aimee and I like to say that Noah is more of our little [big] brother than our cousin because we have grown up together. He is an only child and his family started coming to our church during his formidable years. Besides seeing him every week we also spent all the holidays together. We've been to all of his major life celebrations and were so proud to bear witness to the biggest one yet.

The wedding was simple but beautiful. It was a family event - Dad did the ceremony, the kids were ring bearers and flower girls, and Blane was the best man. The most memorable moments - Noah and Auntie Ruth dancing to Great is Thy Faithfulness, Abby and Emi, Blane's speech, Em in her dress, the kid table + individualized boxes for each kid complete with colored pencils, yummy treats, and with a handmade and personalized activity sheet. Em's gifts of creativity and care on display.

We decided to let the kids stay up to celebrate and, while they may be suffering at school this morning, it sure was worth it. The kids all had a blast. But the joy in Abby's heart, on her face, and in her feet when it came time to dance - none of us will soon forget. She was nonstop on the dance floor for at least an hour - dancing with strangers, pulling people out to join her, elation plastered across her wide grin while she jumped, danced, spun, and twirled.

Mom texted me on her drive home that night. 

While the sentiments are flattering, the truth is only Abby (and each of us) get to decide if we will chose joy in the Lord. It's one thing to know all of the truths about God in your head, but it's quite another to take that head knowledge and actually let it change our hearts. This is emotional maturity in Christ. 

May we all chose the joy of the Lord, even in the most sorrowful of times. It is there that the scope of the power of God is revealed. 

 Abby took her school pics the other day. Her teacher sent me this.

Even though the picture won't show it, I'll always remember that she was holding her blankey. *cue crying face

I've been listening to Phylicia Masonheimer's podcast, Verity. She is a theologian who dissects the Bible is a way that is understandable and relatable. She is full of grace and I've been so thankful for her perspective, teachings, wisdom, and the way she weaves everything through the lens of the Word. 

I recently listened to her podcast on grief and boy, run don't walk, if you've ever walked through a hard thing. 

Life is one thing to the next and I am doing some of it well and some of it not but I hope that my imperfections are a way of seeing a perfect God redeem, restore, heal, love. How God takes sin and uses it for our good and His glory. Phew. Where would we be without it? Thank you God.

Some snapshots of life: