If I look back on my life, I can see the power of pride in my life.
Pride that we had the "best" church in the conference.
Pride in my knowledge/understanding of God.
Pride that I was a pastor's kid.
Pride that guys liked me.
Pride in my intelligence.
Pride in my athletic abilities.
Pride in financial stability.
Pride in parenting.
Pride in my marriage.
One by one God has taken me on a journey to reveal that pride to me.
Best church? Church that is small and meager
Knowledge of God? BLM, LGBT, COVID, Women, Trumpism, I knew NOTHING.
Pastor's kid? The burden of judgement and rejection and hope.
Being liked? three kids + 20 pounds later
Intelligence? My husband alone has unintentionally sobered me to the truth of my intellectual reach.
Athletic abilities? 4 slipped discs + physical problems
Financial stability? God put us right in the middle of a wealthy community.
Parenting? My kids are far from perfect.
Marriage? Give us all the counseling, classes, books, and lessons please
Each reveal came at a cost in my life. But while the cost broke me down, God rebuilt me on His Truth. "The spiritual journey is not a success story or a career move. It is rather a series of humiliations of the false self." - Peter Scazzero from Day by Day. We unknowingly learn to live the way that is unintended and eventually come to need it. Christ, in His infinite grace, is willing to strip us down so we can be rebuilt the way He intended.
I know nothing. I am nothing. I say this not in a self deprecating way but in a surrendered way.
I'm studying the Kings in 2 Chronicles and King Uzziah's life was characterized by great accomplishment and gain. He oversaw much wealth and brought stability to the Southern Kingdom. He created new defense machinery and was respected by the people. He did was right in the eyes of the Lord and because of that obedience he flourished.
But towards the later half of his life he had a moment where his pride overwhelmed him and He tried to do something that God had said only the priests could do. Then he became angry when the priests held him accountable to this wrong. God then immediately struck him with leprosy. He later died and wasn't remembered for all he had gained but instead as the king who had leprosy.
For so much of his life, He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but pride became his downfall.
Uzziah is such a sobering reminder that all our work for the Lord could come crashing down on us if we don't stay in step with God. "Spiritual shipwreck rarely happens in a moment. More often it is the slow drift from the course Jesus set for us." - Garrett Kell. Ravi Zacharias, Brian Houston, Mark Driscoll, just to name a few in the news recently.
Jesus, may I be open to your truths in my life so that I am not plagued with the sin of pride. Keep me on the course you set for me. Protect me from pride becoming my downfall. Reveal to me the places of pride in my life and may I do what is right in your eyes.
