Always a Miracle, Never an Accident

Today in my stories, I poked fun at my questionable parenting technique which consisted of bribing Abby during soccer. One jelly bean for every high five, pass, and teammate encouragement. No shame here!

I'll readily admit that, as we have grown as parents, we've loosened up a bit when it comes to exercising control of our children's actions. Years in the game has taught me that 1. Kids can't be perfect all the time. What an unrealistic exception and too heavy of a burden to place on their shoulders. 2. We are in it for the long haul and my child's breakdown one day isn't a reflection of who they are going to be nor who I am in my parenting. 

But don't let the loosening up fool you. There is a clear and intentional aim over here to raise our children to know who they are in Christ, learn how to love Jesus and pursue Him on their own, work hard, and to share that love. We'll never master the task. In fact we stumble through the mistakes and land on the ones that work for us. Because they are always growing, we will always be stumbling in the effort. Always a miracle, never an accident. I read that recently from Crossformed kids. 

The work of discipleship is primarily a work of God. Without his miraculous intervention in the lives of our kids, all of our effort, all of our strategies, all of our tactics would be for naught. God himself is our source of hope and help.

But discipleship is also not accidental. The same God who is sovereign over every molecule and every moment calls us as parents to be the primary disciple-makers in the lives of our kids. 

Always a miracle, never an accident.

Earlier this year I came across this poem from Hosanna Wong that used bible verses to say who we are in Christ. This past summer if the kids memorized it, they would be able to pick out a toy. The two older ones did it.

And just last week it came in handy when one of my kids was down on themselves for something in school. The foundation gave me a chance to ask them what Ephesians 2:10 says about how God sees you.

He calls me His masterpiece mommy.

He calls me His art.

He calls me purposed and fashioned for good things. 

YES, child. Who you are is not defined by if you are good at this in school. Thank you God for the chance to speak life this one time. But for every hit, we've also had a miss too. Which is why molding my heart to God's every day has become my very lifeline. I need it. I thirst for it. I am better parent with it. I am missing something when I don't have it - studying His Word, learning about His character, sitting in His presence, pouring out my adoration and my supplications. Scripture has become my life source, my beacon of light. 

I've learned to not wait for the perfect moment to be with Him. My bible is almost always with me so I can pick it up in the transitions - carpool, filling up gas, waiting for the water to boil, stopped at a light, waiting for a doctors appointment, on a plane, at a hotel. And every snippet of His living, breathing heart draws me closer to Him and prepares me better for the parts of the day that aren't perfect- the criticism, the meltdown, the disagreement, the tiredness, the overwhelm.

There was a time I felt guilty for not giving them my time when reading scripture. But I've realized that it's when I don't that I'm short changing them. Not only does it change how I respond and lead them, but it also teaches them, without saying it, what to value and prize. 

Always a miracle, never an accident. 

Summer 2023

The kids started school yesterday. Josh went into work today and this morning is the first the house has been silent and still in a while. Deep breath. Thank you God for this moment. 

Our summer was steady and intentional. It was the first where I wasn't dying at the end and at my wits end. The gift of another year older and me, a little wiser about it. We saved our trips for the end which allowed us to settle into a little daily routine - breakfast, math, reading (summer reading list - two dollars for every book finished), comprehension, get ready for the day, bible and quiet time. The parameters for bible time - everyone in their own room, and bible first for anyone who could read. Abby listened to her Tonie with her headphones and the rest of us opened and read our bibles and spent time with God. Sometimes we'd talk about what we read, sometimes we wouldn't. 

We established Wonder Wednesdays with our cousins where we'd go all over Southern California exploring our corner of the world. We discovered the Cypress Library, bravely tried new foods, hiked to the Griffith Observatory and enjoyed the show. We jumped on a water bus in the Marina and toured the waterways. Found Hawaii quality shave ice. Picnicked in Palos Verdes with a view of Catalina. We also made it a point to go to the beach once a week when we were home. Dads came with us when they could. Swim lessons for all. VBS! Emerson pitched her team to State Championships!

Emerson got her ears pierced, experienced her first pedicure, took a sewing class (and made her own skirt!), and went on a girl's only night away with Aimee and I. She cooked dinner and made desserts. She grew so much in three months. Landon, who had not lost one tooth up to this point, lost 4 this summer.

As a family, we took our first big family vacation to Oahu. We stayed on the North Shore and made the most special of memories - snorkeling with a school of fish, swimming with turtles, chartering a boat and riding with dolphins, learning how to surf. 

Summer is never complete without our annual family fishing trip and it did not disappoint. We ended summer with a few nights in Arizona, the kids did all the water park things and then we headed home.

Thank you, Lord. For all good comes from you.