Loneliness and the Danger of Self-Pity

I had an "aha!" moment this morning when I was doing my BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) work. (Which actually happens more often than you'd think and also less often than you'd think. He always is faithful to mold us at the right time when we plunge into the sea to get to Him. John 21:8) 

I love BSF because it keeps me in the Word every day and at the end of the hw there's a note section that always teaches me something profound. My zoom class meets every week to discuss the answers and to see what the Lord has taught us all. It's not perfect but the ladies in my group are a true gift to me in their exuberant and faithful pursuit of God.

This past year one of my private struggles has been loneliness in ministry. Wild how you can work at a church and feel lonely in pursuit of God. But last week I heard Tim Keller say, in an old leadership class, that one of the great dangers of loneliness in church leadership is self-pity. Immediately I felt validated AND sucker punched. Loneliness in church ministry is common! And yes, I could see how sometimes my loneliness led me to dabble in self-pity, not realizing it at the time but certainly in hindsight it was quite obvious. 

I also see how God has used BSF, a group that is completely separate from my church, a group of women who are just as passionate about pursuing Christ as I am, to help me guard against falling into deep self pity. There I have found likeminded women. There I am not lonely.

It's been there this whole time and I never realized it. YEARS! This wasn't some mistake or coincidence. In His lovingkindness, He knew exactly what sin would use to try and trip me up and unbeknownst to me, was quietly protecting me from my own downfall. I can't imagine all of the ways He has done that in the past and in my present, that I'll never know of.

My God - full of great mercy and love. Thank you for saving me from myself! 

If your instruction had not been my delight, I would have died in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for you have given me life through them. I am yours. Psalm 119:92-94

Now to Him who is able to protect you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of His glory, without blemish and with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time, now and forever. Jude 1:24

Gather the pieces that are leftover. Let nothing be wasted.

We are 4 days post Easter and, true to form, I'm a little under the weather. Truth be told, I always feel somewhat discouraged after some big ministry event, sick or not.

"Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." John 6:12

That time Jesus fed 5000 with just one boys lunch. "Obediently, and no doubt in continued amazement, the 12 disciples collected exactly 12 baskets of leftovers generated by a mere five barley loaves. All 12 disciples held tangible evidence of Jesus's overflowing provision in their hands. A basket for each disciple visibly attested to Jesus's diving power and care for their needs. He provided an opportunity to trust Him, recognize His provision, and exercise wise stewardship. God calls churches and Christian ministries to do the same." - BSF Study of John

The basket of leftovers we hold may not appear lavish - there's not a bigger house, finer clothes, or tropical vacations in it. But it holds something greater than gold - wisdom, steadfastness, the fortitude to continue, peace with the present, and the righteousness of God which leads to a quiet confidence. He pours out His oil on us. 

And it's not just churches and ministries. He calls all of us to 'gather the pieces that are left over' from our hard places and hurts. Let nothing be wasted!

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord's work, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God - who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28