The Unexpected

I have expected many things in the planning of a wedding. The arduous task of negotiating with vendors, waiting on people to respond, registrying, and shopping to name a few. But there have been many unexpected shockers that have taught me about love, grace, and community.

Since the planning commenced I have only cried twice so far. The first happened 2 weekends ago when I was up north. Aimee sent me an email. For years I have followed these photographers blog. I love their work and have watched them grow more and more popular. Every year their prices increased. By the time I got engaged I knew we wouldn't be able to afford them. Aimee secretly contacted them and worked a contract that we could almost afford, and then her and Bil threw in the difference. I was so moved I just cried. I wasn't expecting them to do something so awesome, so personal, so thoughtful, and so generous.

The second time I cried was tonight actually. Tonight I had dinner with Randy. Randy and I go way back. I worked for him while I was in school and grew to love him as I love family. Every so often we meet over a meal to catch up. I appreciate our frank discussions. As we were ending our time together he gave one offer as a gift to Josh and I. I drove home thinking I am undeserving of such a gift. How are people so generous? It teaches me.

Although I haven't cried about this one it certainly has been a unexpected joy - maybe the biggest one of all. Since the day I began dating Josh I have been perpetually worried about what his parents think of me. It is not warranted. They are nothing but loving and accepting. My insecurities I'm sure. But still it is in the back of my mind. Do they think the age difference is too much? Do they want someone more asian for their oldest son - a great cook, someone who can sew? After Josh proposed the thing I was concerned about the most was what his parents were feeling. Since day 1 of the proposal - and really since 4 1/2 years ago - they have been nothing but supportive, excited, and welcoming. I even made their yearly newsletter!

My mom has been so cool. She's excited and involved but not pushy. She makes the process fun and not stressful.

My Uncle Mark has agreed to make some pies for the dessert table. He said he "would be honored".

My oldest cousins wife, Paige, emailed offering any help.

Gary cried when I asked him to help officiate.

Brandon always asks for an update even though he's probably sick of hearing about it all.

Aimee wants to be involved in everything even though she's busy planning her own wedding.

And Josh, oh my Josh, who has showed me that he is the best partner I could ever have.

Over and over I am seeing the unexpected hands reaching out to us. I need to be to others like these people have been to us. God showing me the way the body takes care of the body. Convicting me to do more, love more, accept more, and give more.

Not Your Typical Girl

I was visiting one of our Bay Area churches this weekend so I flew up a day earlier to hang out with Josh and his grandparents. We decided to drive in to the city and see about that registry stuff. I'm not sure why I thought the task would be such a breeze - I don't really like to shop anyway. Crate and Barrel greeted us with two of these silverware thingys. Josh left me to go to the restroom and I don't think I moved till he returned. 

 

Macy's is 8 levels. 8. The registry lady handed us the gun and said, "Have fun on all 8 floors!"

 I looked at Josh and he laughed at me. He knew I had just walked into my worst nightmare. :) You can't tell from this picture, but that far back wall showcased the 50+ sets of fine china to choose from. Mercy!

Williams Sonoma was our favorite find. The knife guy alone spent at least 20 minutes with us, explaining the difference between the Japanese knives and the German ones. (If you need to know Japanese are finer, more precise and yet delicate. The German more durable and sturdy. Fitting descriptions, no?) We tested some and laughed at ourselves for taking it so seriously. 

 But in the end the day trip was great because I got to spend it with this guy...

        

... in this place. 

Someone recently told me that planning a wedding is a great test of your compatibility. I guess in some ways you can see how you'll deal with stress together, how you make decisions, how to budget, yadi yadi. But if that's true, and not just an old wives tale then I feel very fortunate. Josh just makes doing things very easy. He's calm, thorough, practical, willingly involved, happy, and smart. I don't have to worry about the budget or reading all the words on contracts. I can narrow down the options and he can pick the Hamstead or the Alpico. He knows when we need to take a break and when to push me. He just knows. How does he always know? It makes the arduous task of shopping not so so terrible, just a little bit terrible.

The Dress?

I'm not the type to be wish washy when it comes to making a decision or having an opinion. :/ That gets me into trouble sometimes. But sometimes it helps. Like I thought it would come in handy when I went to try on wedding dresses. I just assumed that I would know when I tried on "the one". Like the girls on Kleinfeld's. But here I was tonight being that wish washy girl. I told Aimee that I can't figure out who the heck I was. I liked them, some more than others, but the price, coupled with my lack of yoga lately, and knowing that since it's a sale it might not be here tomorrow. Ack! Something about that combination made me indecisive and unsure. We had a good, memorable time. But we walked away without a dress. Which is fine. The part that concerns me is being so unsure. I'm unsure about a flower, a style, a venue. I'm undecided if I like this bridesmaid dress or this one. I feel each decision narrows the field and changes the tone of the wedding. This one day that kinda defines who you are. I mean, it's usually the biggest party you'll ever throw for yourself. I've never done that before and I guess I just want to do it right. I want it to reflect Josh and I.

I vowed to Josh before we got engaged that I wouldn't be that girl. The one who stresses out and cries about things that don't really matter. Him and my mom laughed. They didn't believe me. So, I made a silent decision that I was going to show them I could handle it. I've been doing so well. They would hopefully say so too. 

Tonight though, well, tonight was the closet I've gotten to shedding a little tear. Not because I didn't find a dress, but because of everything. 

J, it's just a party. One day out of hundreds of thousands you'll experience. Just one day.

Step 1 - Ideal Reception Site?

I'm going dizzy looking online at reception sites. bah! If I give up (and that many be happening sooner than later) we may just get married here.

Hmm, if dad's two daughters getting married in one year doesn't give him a heart attack, this decision sure would be the clencher.. :P

A New Year, A New Day

Happy New Year friends! Another year has come and gone. Bil, A, Josh and I celebrated at Nobu's last night in Malibu and had the grandest time. We can't believe everything that happened in 2010. Linda got married and passed away. Aimee and I moved out. We went to NY and Aimee and Blane got engaged. Josh moved up north and then I received the most amazing Christmas gift. All these happenings signal many changes to come in 2011 - some expected and many unexpected I'm sure.

I wonder about you and what you would say were the significant moments of your year. I hope you are filled with joy, as I am. I am hopeful and full of anticipation. I told my mom today that I feel at peace, settled in my heart about where life is going. I hope you experience that same deep deep contentment this year. God's blessings on you and yours.