Sometimes I can sense things are going to happen before they happen. For example, yesterday I was driving and I was coming up on a red...I snapped my fingers and it turned green! I somehow knew that it was about to change (i know i'm freaking you out right now but please don't be scared of me, I'm still human).
Sometimes having this gift is a curse because you learn things you just don't want to know. For years I have known that one day I am going to lose my right arm. Yes, you read that right - lose my right arm. Believe it or not, I'll be the girl with one arm. I'm thinking (although admittedly still fuzzy on this part) that the stump will be somewhere right above my elbow. I'm not sure how it's going to happen I'm just pretty sure it will .
Anyway, for the past few years I've been trying to work up my left arm to take over some minimal duties such as writing, handling the hair straightener, brushing my teeth... It's been so frustrating! My left arm is like dead weight! Dead weight I tell you! It's useless and since my brain has already developed it's incredibly difficult to teach a left arm new tricks. It's like telling an old dog to fetch, when he has NEVER fetched before.
I have resigned myself to the fate of the right arm. My left still hasn't assumed the responsibility. In turn, I still mourn for this coming day. I appreciate Right for so many things, a killer serve in high school volleyball, shifting gears in my car, texting, raising both hands during a worship song. I will truly miss Right Arm. In lieu of this coming occasion i have written a short song to Right Arm...
(think Mary Had A Little Lamb soundtrack)
Oh Right Arm I miss you so,
miss you so,
miss you so.
Oh Right Arm I miss you so,
You were so good to me!
You fed me, brushed me, blew my nose,
blew my nose,
blew my nose.
You fed me, brushed me, blew my nose,
And turned on the T.V.
Right hand you have wiped my pee,
wiped my pee,
wiped my pee.
Right hand you have wiped my pee,
My left hand can't compare...to...thee!
**Special thanks to Melissa Tong in contributing to the lyrics of this song.
it's a good thing that you're preparing yourself for this now...although since you know this may happen, maybe you can prevent it! prevention IS the way to ensure a higher quality of life you know. because i love you so much, i hereby offer my OT services to teach you to use a prosthetic arm so you can continue to participate in activities that are meaningful to you. and thanks for the shout out. hahaha!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I really appreciate that. It means a lot.
ReplyDeleteWOW! haha. i can somewhat relate to this..except i'm left handed. but..i can do some things with my right arm such as playing sports. i think i'm kinda ambidextrous. or something like that. this was pretty random&i like meliss's comment.
ReplyDeletebtw...what happened to the lem story? hahahaah.
You're so lucky you're ambidextrous! That's invaluable in today's world. You just never know when you're going to lose a right/left arm.
ReplyDeleteand I couldn't overdose wierdness in one day. Stay tuned for tomorrow for the introduction of Lem...
OH YESS!!I CANNOT WAIT!
ReplyDeletedude, a story about lem? thats awesome.. wait, wait, wait, is this the one where lem meets jorge? because thats my favorite for sure. well, my favorite to this point anyway. actually, i take that back. my favorite part of the story should take place on a tuesday or maybe a thursday. i think thursday sounds about right. go jorge!
ReplyDeleteon another note.. how did blogger.com know my name was joshua. i never told him. stalker status.
ReplyDeleteo yea, nice song about the arm. poor thing, im really going to miss holding its hand.
ReplyDeletehaha... hi j... y'know, the comments above are nearly as amusing as your posts (i'm very sorry to hear about the inevitable demise of your right arm)... if i'm catching on correctly, i can't WAIT to hear about lem & jorge... although.. i think there's more to tell now!
ReplyDelete...whoa. blogger knew my name too! scaaary.