Christ in Me

I have been wresting for months now with whether or not to apply for the job I am currently doing as interim. There are many factors, a few being the tangible. I don't play an instrument. I don't have the musical knowledge to be a music director. Can I hang for the long term? Will people be upset if I get picked?

In the last few months God has used people/experiences to take me on a journey during this season. Here are two of them.

A woman from church, who I am friendly with but not someone I hang out with, texted me out of the blue, asking me to apply for the position, and for some reason, probably because Josh and I had been talking about it all day and I had just had a discouraging thing happen, I responded and told her what was on my heart. And then she asked me, "What's the opposite of fear?" GUYS, I had to look it up because I can't remember the last time anyone asked me that. (P.S. Google says it's faith.) I got ready for bed, folded the laundry, laid down, and opened my instagram for a scroll and this is the first thing that popped up. (Click on the picture for clarity.)

I checked and it was posted 4 hours prior. The exact time I had that text conversation.

Then the other day I'm laying out my frustrations to my dad - who is technically my boss. Telling him all of the practical reasons I cannot do this job. THIS hasn't happened. I don't have THIS in place. THIS isn't working. And he responded by telling me that if I feel called to do it, God will work all those things out. Trust in the Lord.

Clearly he didn't hear me.

So I repeated myself. DAD, THIS hasn't happened. He responded, J, trust in the Lord. DAD, I don't have THIS in place. J, trust in the Lord. THIS isn't working. J, trust in the Lord. DAD! J, trust in the Lord.

I wanted to strangle him and scream. Then I came across this post from a Godly gal on insta. Her daughter had a heart transplant last year and since she has become a beacon of wisdom for people.

I've decided to apply for the job because following God's will for my life is more important than all the THIS's. And ultimately, Christ in me can accomplish more for His glory than I ever could because it isn't me who is working. It's just me being obedient.

Christ in me and Christ in YOU too.