I don't have a lot of memories with her since she lived in Mississippi but the times we did spend together certainly had an impact on me.
Grams' story is one of grit and perseverance and, as I know it, was so entwined with my gramps. They were married after he returned from the war. They were part of the upper class in a little town two hours north of New Orleans. Gramps owned the town hardware and furniture store. My uncle can remember pumping gas for customers and my mom can remember the distinct smell of wood and tobacco. After a time my gramps fell into drinking and their steady lives took a turn. Grams took over the hardware store while raising four littles at the same time. She never left him and while the disease took his best years from him, they also took her best years from her. Eventually they lost the store. Her strengths probably never would have surfaced if it hadn't been for him and the hardship they endured. The beauty from the ashes.
By the time I came around my gramps had sobered up. I only remember him as the gentlest and the kindest man. He had laryngeal cancer from drinking, smoking, and chewing tobacco too much and lost his voice box. He rarely spoke but when he did it was always with a twinkle in his eye. I loved him so! I can still hear gram calling out to him. '"Charles!", she would say with a deep southern accent. Her tone towards him free of any lingering resentment. She spoke matter of factly, accepting. It was what it was. The past was behind them.
I remember her taking my sister and I to a teddy bear tea party one year when we were in town. I was always fascinated by the many lipsticks on her make up counter and the trashy romance novels she kept in the bathroom. She loved manners and good food, and was never without her hair done, lipstick on, and outfit on point. Aimee and I visited when we were in college and inadvertently were given an introduction to Southern culture and a piece of our heritage. She taught us how to play canasta and what Southern food was. She picked up some black eyed peas. We were taught how to eat crawfish. Her and my gramps took us to New Orleans to eat at Galatoires ~ an old school Southern restaurant where coats and manners were required. We tried soft shelled crab and bread pudding for the first time and drank out of fancy cups.
Gram was unwavering in her care of the kids, devotion to her husband, and determination to provide. I can't say she did it all perfectly but now that I'm a mom I can't imagine I'd handle the same life with such strength. It's such a hard fought story but look at the fruit of her labor ~ four kind and good kids, 10 grandchildren who all love her dearly, and the legacy of 17 great grand children (and counting). She was a content and happy person with a lot of energy even into her later years. She was loved and well cared for till the end.
When circumstances change for the worse what lies beneath really comes to the surface. I hope beneath my surface is the same grit and strength that Gram had.
Thank you for holding the family together, Gram. See you one day.
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