One Month In

Our floor is dirty. When people come over they take their shoes off and I cringe, knowing they are collecting little bits of this and that in their socks and on their feet. 

In my previous life that would have never been the case. The house was always prepared and nicely groomed for visitors and even surprise visitors. Towels were clean, sheets fresh, toilet scrubbed, junk put away - you get the picture. Without realizing it, I prided myself in having it all together, and I would be such a stress case if it wasn't. 

But in this current stage of life there isn't room for outward perfection. People come over and I have no make up on, my hair is three days past a wash, and I'm still in my pj's, since that's the best nursing/post c-section outfit that works. My fridge is a hot mess and my counters are cluttered but never mind that when the rest of the house is much of the same. But at some point, really quickly, you have to learn to get it go, because you just can't. So there goes my pride. But even if I gave off that I had it altogether, did I really? Of course not. So now my outsides just reflect my insides. 

The irony though, is the more my mess is transparent, the more I'm closer to who God wants me to be - honest, less prideful, willing to ask for help, willing to take it. The uglier I think I am, the more beautiful He thinks I am. 

Landon turns one month old tomorrow. What a beginning he has had! To us it seems like he is only a few weeks old because that is how long we have been home with him. It has been a joy finally getting to know his personality. So far I have found that he is sensitive, gentle, a foracious sucker but a little too ambitious with how much milk he takes. He has a hefty cry and doesn't like his diaper changed. He wakes up every one and a half to two hours to nurse and seems to have a lot of gas in his tummy. He loves to be held upright and more often than not has a concerned look on his face, although every once in a while we will catch him smiling in his sleep. Everyone who meets him says he looks like Josh and we couldn't agree more. Heaps of blessings!