Marriage Socialization

I've come to the conclusion that socializing with other people totally changes after you are married. I don't know if it's because they see you differently or if you're trying to figure out how to act together with other people around. I'm not sure. You would think it would be the same as when you were dating but oddly it's not. I wonder if other married people know what I mean or if we are just THAT socially inept? Since we've been in San Jose we've basically been a 2 person show. We have hanging out with each other nailed*. It's comfortable and easy. We get along and are genuinely ourselves. This last month we've been able to see old friends at camp and family while fishing. And while for the most part it was fine, there were a few awkward instances where I was wondering why Josh and I have to be so dang awkward when we're hanging with other people.

Two instances:
1. Friday night at camp Josh arrives after work to hang out with his boys and see everyone. We walked over to high school and had this 30 minute moment where I wasn't sure if I was supposed to stay with him, if he wanted to leave, if he didn't want to leave and wanted to stay with me, blah. You get it. So I kept saying, "You can go hang out with your boys if you want, I'm fine." and his reply, "No, that's okay." He was also trying to decide if I wanted him to stay with me, if I wanted us to do something together... And round and round we both went in our minds. Terrible and terribly awkward for other people around us I'm sure.

2. On Saturday night during the family fishing trip everyone had finished dinner and was in some pocket or another just talking and I decided to go sit on the couch. I wasn't feeling 100% and I think the long day had prematurely worn me out. Josh comes and sits with me. My overanalyzing self thinks that maybe he would like to go and hang out with his family. So in an effort to let him know I was okay I say to him , "Did you want to go hang out with the family? Go ahead." He looks at me and says, "No, I'm fine" Another 15 minutes of me wondering if us sitting over here isolated is weirding anyone out. Awkwardness ensues!

And a third that just came to mind:
3. The first time we hung out with the poker group (aka Josh's buddies) after the wedding. AWKWARD.

Why can't we just be that "cool couple" who just hangs out? Neither of us are good at small talk and big groups. I practically get hives and stress myself out internally (which according to my recent Dr.'s analysis is the partial reason why I am still sick) and Josh just becomes engrossed in his phone.

This is a terrible flaw for making new friends and being a "cool couple". It's like we're Bieber and Selena when you really aspire to be Jay-Z and B. Who would you rather hang out with? Exactly. I hope we improve over time. I don't need to be in the "cool married people" club but I would like people to enjoy hanging out with us. Do you have any flaws as a couple? Not to sound too selfish, but for the sake of my sanity I sure do hope so.

Fishing pics coming soon!

*thus far