Moving On

My dear friends, the ones who walk beside me in life. I have news.

I'm sorry I haven't been consistent with you these past few weeks. Life has been a bit unsettling and now that things have come to light I will pour it into your arms.

Two weeks ago Gary and I mutually decided to end our season of working together. After Josh moved up north for work and we married, Gary and I decided that I would reduce my hours to part-time and we would see if we could work it out. I must say, we tried. But in the end the lack of face-to-face weekly communication and the travel was too much for us both.

This is the right decision - for the PCJC and also for me. I believe that God is the head of the church. I have no illusions that it cannot continue without me. I believe the movement we started will continue and flourish through others who step up. God will provide.

Personally I find it is a sweet, sweet sorrow. Five or so years ago I felt God calling me to leave my job, go back to school, and work under Gary in the PCJC. I moved back home, enrolled in grad school for more training, and initially began working part-time for free. I truly believed in the vision. In that time I received more than I ever gave. Gary believed in me. I always felt a need to dampen who I was or to mold myself into this box, to fit in, to succeed. Under Gary I was given the freedom to feel, express, respond, and soar so high. Because of him I learned more about my strengths and weaknesses and who I was than any degree could ever have given me. I am more concrete in who I am in Christ and a better person. These last five years changed my life. That is my sweetness and my sorrow.

My fears are all practical. Where will I work? I cannot leave Josh with carrying our financial burden. At times the thought overwhelms me. Today I heard this song in a new way.

All of my life, in every season, you are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship.
All of my life, in every season, you are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship.
I will bring praise.
I will bring praise.

Isn't it so fitting? In bible study we went over James 1:5 "If you need wisdom - if you want to know what God wants you to do - ask him, and he will gladly tell you." Well friends, I am asking. Maybe if you have time, you can ask on my behalf too.

If you need to be reminded that He's always on your side. Because He always is, you know. No matter what.