And happy things that are happening in the near future to boast about.
And a beautiful life with Josh to talk about that would make you sick.
But I can't do that. Not right now.
To tell you the truth, today I'm just down about this job thing. Every day I search for jobs, apply, write a cover letter, tweek my resume, and then send it off to some unknown email box. I don't even know if anyone has received my info or if they're checking that place that resumes go to when you click, "apply now".
I can remember when Josh was finishing grad school and he was applying online. He experienced the same thing. I remember not worrying about it at all. I had a confidence that someone would settle on his resume and contact him. And a few months later, they did. I know this, but knowing and believing the same will happen for me are two separate things.
Not everyday, but today I fell into a bit of self-pity which quickly led to self-doubt. I'm embarrassed to tell you that. I know this attitude is not a Godly one. I abruptly told myself I can't be there and took a break from the hunt and promptly did a bunch of chores and dusted and vacuumed the apartment in an effort to feel productive.
A passage from Romans 5:
Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace.
For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God's children. And since we are his children, we will share his treasures - for everything God gives his Son, Christ, is ours, too.
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