Grandma

A lot has happened in the time since my last post, including the passing of my grandma. While I do not wish to pass over it, I can't seem to get myself to tell you about it; too many emotions, too many memories, too much to say and feel. In presenting her I want to do it right but feel wholly inadequate to the task of portraying who she was and painting an accurate picture of the importance of her life, with just my words.

And yet, I am bound to an inner responsibility to not move forward until I have done so, hence the silence. At her funeral last week all of her grandchildren shared. We each spoke on something different. I hesitate to share what I said because it is only a partial picture of her but it is all I can do for now.

A few weeks ago in church my dad shared that oftentimes when he was preaching he'd glance over to where his mom was sitting and she'd have her hands cupped behind her ears. Her not-so subtle way of telling him to speak up. 

I tried to console him later by telling him whenever I'd lead worship, I'd glance over at grandma and instead of cupping her ears to tell me to sing louder, she was always covering her ears in her not-so subtle way to tell me to turn it down. 

I joke at her antics but the truth is she really did love to sing and worship God. She never needed a hymn book, no matter how obscure the song, or how many verses deep we went; and sitting next to her, with both of our hands raised in worship is a treasure I'll hold dear to my heart. 

When I was little, we used to pile into the car and drive down to Anaheim for our annual Miyabe Christmas or Fourth of July at Grandma's house. When we'd reach the beginning of their block, my sister and I would slowly start to chant their street name, "kenddor dddrrive" and then we'd build it up faster and louder till finally, when we reach their house, we'd shout, Kendor Drive! then pile out of the car, excited to play with grandma's trinkets, or if we were really lucky, she'd take us to the back room where she kept all her omiyage gifts, and she'd let us pick one. Oh the joy! 

Recently someone characterized Grandma as a homemaker and Grandpa quietly corrected them and said she was a Ministers Wife. Even when we were putting together the slideshow for today, we noticed that the majority of Grandmas' photos were of her with grandpa at one church function or another. They were rarely apart all those years. And how could they be? Grandma didn't drive. But that was how it was. One always came with the other. Grandma's life was often characterized by what Grandpa was doing. Grandpa once wrote about grandma in the senior bulletin at church, in it he said, "Marian was invaluable to my work." In essence, Gma was invaluable to Gpa. Not just in his work but in life. 

Grandma was also full of little tid bits of wisdom. One time, rather recently, I was nursing my son, Landon, and she happened to walk into the room. After carrying on a casual conversation she said, "nursing can be so limiting sometimes" and as she turned to leave, and with a twinkle in her eye, she continued, "but it can also get you out of things." And then she turned around and walked out. As any young mother knows, that statement is so true!

My husband, Josh, and I hosted our latest Miyabe Christmas at our home in Valencia. By this point, Grandma was still physically able to get around but her memory had started to fade. We had a wonderful time together and when we ended it was late on a Saturday night and grandpa and grandma still had quite a drive home. When they were getting ready to leave I asked Grandma if she would make it to church the next morning. She gave me one of her 'looks' and said with all clarity "of course I'll be there Julianna. You never miss church." Such a simple statement but one that so defined her. She was dedicated. Even when her memory was fading, her dedication to God and her faith never wavered. As long as I've known her, Grandma has been faithful. If I ever grumbled about something to her or shared a worry of mine, her response would always be simple but resolute. "Trust in the Lord" or "God is faithful." 

The most important aspect of grandma was not who she was, but what this family is because of her. She, alongside grandpa, left us a legacy of faith. I don't think it's a mere coincidence that their three children and all of their grand children and their families, know and follow God. 

It is a real privilege to be an heir to this legacy of faith. Grandma, this next generation is doing our best to keep this legacy going, by God's grace. 

What I will remember most about Grandma was her posture before Christ.

Grandma, I will see you again. Can't wait to sing songs of praise to Jesus together one day.