Ups and Downs

It has only been one day but already I am weary from the worry a parent can have for their child. Sometimes I do not feel I am cut from a strength great enough to handle this.

Today was filled with ups and downs. The downs, my love had a moment where he stopped breathing. The nurse brought him right back to it but it scared us something bad and reminded us how fragile he is. And that leads to our other down, looks like he's going to have to stay in the NICU a while longer. Maybe a week or two, no one really knows. Only our little guy can determine that. 

The ups, we got to hold our son! I sang to him and whispered secrets in his ear. I laid my hand on his chest and watched it rise and fall. Our fragile but strong little boy. He needs so much help to live but also he is so strong to be living. He is small but compared to the other babies in the NICU he is big so he has that going for him. Other ups, the nurses in the NICU are just so wonderful and competent. They give us peace of mind and ease our racing hearts. Another up, my little love decreased how much oxygen he needs, a necessity before discharge. Another up, he tried to eat a little. 

Oh and our last up, we finally named him. Landon. Landon Minoru Uyeda. 

Landon honey, our pride and joy, we love you so much already. We ache with our own helplessness. How we wish we could take this from you and shoulder it ourselves. Keep fighting little love. Keep fighting. Daddy and I, and a host of others, are fighting for you too, the only way we know how, and in the most powerful way ever, by lifting you up to our God. 

Heal my son Jesus. Please heal my son.