A Change of Pace

My sweet friends, it is late and once again I cannot sleep. I crawled out of bed hoping to not disturb the hubby.

There has been a dramatic shift in pace. Before the wedding everything was busy. The to-do list a mile long, people's opinions to worry about, this to buy, that to email, these checks to write, those people to see, and that shopping to be done. It was never ending from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep. My insecurities bubbled to the surface and played with my emotions. Life was complicated enough that it wore me out. Overwhelming enough that two months before the wedding I shutdown for the first time in my life. It didn't last for long but the frenzy continued.

Now that we are settled life is much simpler. I wonder if it would be simple if we lived at home where everything and everyone that we love still is? I assume not. Here, it is just us. And for the time being it has been a welcomed change of pace. I know we will soon need friends and a church family, I'll need to find a job, we'll probably join a bible study and a yoga class or something. All in good time. But for now I embrace the simplicity. The frenzied rush to finish wedding preparations, say good-bye to family, friends, church, work, and then move. It was so much.

Since we began dating, Josh has always liked to do things together. Sometimes that infuriated me. Like when we would head to the market and he wouldn't let me just jump out and grab it real quick. No, we had to park and go in together. I was always in a rush looking for the best way to consolidate the tasks. He plans things so he never has to rush. This allows him to be thorough and to enjoy what he is doing. Since we've married and moved I've adjusted more to his pace than he has to mine. So we do things together. We get up early so we don't have to hurry, we eat, and do devotions. He comes home and hopefully I have something cooking. We eat, clean up, and usually go running. Sometimes I'll join him in the workout room and sit there watching the news as he lifts. We head home and repeat the next day. Sound boring? It is gloriously so. I've learned to appreciate the smaller things. I cherish when he comes home from work. I like listening to him talk about his day. I find joy in putting together a good meal. I laugh while we figure out how to use a new appliance. I love when he just rolls his eyes and laughs at me. The kind of gentle laugh that I know is full of acceptance.

I am intent on not rushing through this time. I do not know how long God has us here. I read this on the News Feed the other day and it stuck with me.

"And so God gently leads us into the desert for the intimate purpose of stripping away the baggage that will be dead weight in the new assignment. He calls us to the desert, where he can add new resources of strength, wisdom, courage, and character. The desert isn't a punishment; it's a gift."

I don't feel like I'm in a desert, more the exact opposite really. But I do see how He's adding new resources of strength, wisdom, courage, and character to us. He's teaching me. Isn't He grand? It took a marriage and a move for me to see what He's been trying to show me! I hope it doesn't take as much for you to allow Him to mold you and bring you into his folds of grace.

I'm sleepy now. Time to sneak back into bed. Good night all. See you soon.