These Are The Days

It is late and I am the only one up. Why, I have no idea. The baby just fed, Josh is sleeping, I've taken a shower, and I've pumped. I should be sleeping. I'll probably regret this later but my mind won't stop and so, my friends, I am here talking with you. Sharing with you.

I am tired and I look like a zombie.
I can only wear clothes that unbutton in the front.
Pooping feels like my intestines are being scrubbed out with a brillo pad.
My incision aches.
My clothes don't fit.
My hair is thinning.
My nails are brittle.
My legs are swollen.
My boobs seem larger than Marilyn Monroe's and as raw as a freshly picked zucchini.
And I am more tired than I have ever been in my entire life.

But these are the days I live for.

I have come to realize it is only a parent's love that would wish for these days to slow down and last longer. Even though I'm at my worst, she is the epitome of the best. Life has never looked sweeter or more promising. The mundane becomes meaningful. The repetitive shows promise. And the simple elicits joy.

It reminds me of God's love for us. So pure. So selfless. So righteous.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long, and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19