Warning:

Do you ever look at the award winning MSN Week in Pictures? It's on my weekly web browsing routine because the photos are so telling. Every so often when there's a particularly graphic image they'll give you a warning. Here's mine:

Editor's Note: This content contains graphic information that some may find disturbing. Like me, I find myself disturbing.

I had something momentous happen to me tonight that compelled me to share with you. For two reasons, 1. I really don't have anyone else to tell besides the air conditioner maintenance man, and 2. because you're my friends and I'm counting on my transparency being appreciated versus abhorred. *gulp of wine...

So as I have mentioned before I have always had a problem with being completely free around Josh, anyone really, when it comes to passing gas. Besides my sister, who doesn't?! It was actually on my list of things to adjust to and really have kinda been more open but not really. I mean, I still want to be attractive to him ya know? Who wouldn't?

Tonight we went running and the unthinkable happened. Usually when we run and I feel like something's coming (eek!) I'll stop running so it's not noisy. It's been like this for years. He always laughs and rolls his eyes at me, mentions something about it not being worth all the hassle and how it's probably why I'm so constipated all the time yadiyadi. So, tonight Josh was talking about his day and I felt funny in my stomach, and I didn't want to interrupt him, and I was debating whether or not I should just keep on running or stop and walk (and still trying to keep up with his day)... and I inwardly sighed and gave in...and...well, you know. I was so so embarrassed and quickly looked around to make sure no one else heard! To Josh's credit he just smiled and kept on talking about his day (so typical of my under-reactor =p). Bless his heart. But don't let that fool you, nothing gets past him. After we returned home he made some small comment congratulating me for "being free".

It's been hours since it happened but I can't get it out of my head!! Be rest assured I will lay in bed tonight thinking if that was the right decision. Marriage...is...just...so...hard.